Dealing with rejection dating world yahoo black dating service
Anyone who enters the dating world is bound to encounter rejection.Whether your online messages to dating prospects go unanswered, you have a great first date but never hear from the person again, or you get dumped after things were just starting to heat up, all rejections have one thing in common — they really hurt.Rejection comes as one of the most brutal stakes to the heart because it deals a direct blow to our ego.The ego is the inherent part of the self which holds intact our pride, esteem and self-worth.You berate yourself for disclosing your fascination with sea urchins, for ordering noodle soup and making slurping noises, or for joking about how you got the scar on your middle finger.All this self-punishment makes you feel utterly miserable and you wonder when you became so weak, needy, or desperate.What makes rejection even more painful is that any effort to understand what went wrong can easily lead to bouts of self-criticism and self-blaming.Did they reject you because you’re not tall enough, smart enough, attractive enough, rich enough, educated enough, or hip enough? Then you start to second guess everything you did and said.
This is the best case scenario, a situation that everybody assures you will happen, regardless of how dire it all looks.
And don’t forget the other types of love all around you!
The bonds you have with family and friends are more important than a few relative strangers’ decisions on whether or not to date you.
You must be, otherwise you wouldn’t hurt so much, right? Here’s why: Recent studies placed people in f MRI machines (scanners that look at what happens in our brains when we’re thinking or doing something) and asked them to think about a painful and recent rejection. The same pathways in the brain became activated when people experienced a rejection as when they experienced physical pain.
In fact, the overlap was so substantial, that when researchers gave people the pain reliever Acetaminophen (Tylenol) and put them through a rejection experience, they reported feeling significantly less emotional pain than those who did not receive Tylenol.